How's Your Monitor Working?

This weekend was my first weekend singing with the worship team at our church. Although this was not my first time on a stage, it was my first time on a stage with an in-ear monitor system. I have always had floor monitors which were, to say the least, workable. In case you don't know the difference here's the jist of it... 

Floor monitor - you share with others
In-ear - it's all your own

Floor monitor - what you hear is not necessarily up to you 
In-ear - it's all your own

Floor monitor - creates a lot of "stage noise" making it hard for others to hear 
In-ear - it's in your ear, no one else is hearing it

Floor monitor - they are ugly on stage  
In-ear - no one sees them

Floor monitor - less expensive  
In-ear - more expensive


So, those are some the basic differences. Having never used in-ear's before I really didn't know what to expect but I realized one thing, I've never really been able to so clearly hear my voice before. This, was humbling. There was no one to blame for missed notes or bad notes. I was fully aware of what I was doing at all times.

As I thought about this I thought - "man, we all, as God's kids, need in-ears". What do I mean by that? I mean, when was the last time you heard yourself? When was the last time you really listened to what you were saying or how you were saying it? Do you think you would be surprised if a tape recording of what you said all day was played back for you? Would your tone of voice shock you? Would your words shame you? Maybe yes, maybe no.



I challenge you and me to start listening to ourselves. Are we encouraging or discouraging? Are we kind and gentle or mean and harsh? Are we critical or full of grace? God says that from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks, when was the last time you did a chemical test on that river of yours? 
Is your water toxic or purified? 

 

 

I don't know about you, but I know that I could use some Holy Spirit purification on my waters. And thankfully, He's always on call.

 

For Better or For Worse

For better or for worse...

Many have uttered these words. Many have pledged their love and made a vow to spend their entire life on this earth with another. Many have walked away from it all.

I am dumbfounded by the number of Christians who so casually walk away from their marriage. 

The question I must continually be asking myself is "what can I be doing to preserve my marriage"?

I was stunned this week to find out that a good friend of mine had her husband walk out on her and her child. And as much as I am in shock I can only imagine what it's like for her. This whole situation has made me look at my husband differently. I am not in fear, but I do not want to be naive either. 

My marriage, your marriage, every marriage has an enemy. You may think the enemy is pornography, other women, sports, alcohol etc., but these are all just tools that our enemy uses. Our enemy is very real and he has a name... Lucifer, Satan, Prince of Darkness, the Devil. How do we combat this enemy? Prayer, yes. Being plugged into a good bible believing church, yes. Small groups, yes. These are all good things, but these good things alone are not enough. Just ask my friend. 

So many Christian women are tricked into thinking that going to church together on Sunday is enough. My husband loves Jesus so we're safe. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. And we're setting ourselves and our marriages up for failure if we believe otherwise.



Marriage is work. Plain and simple. And not just the work of doing the laundry, paying the bills and taking care of the kids. When is the last time you cuddled on the couch? When is the last time you actually put on a sexy nighty? When is the last time you rubbed your husband's back? When is the last time you sent your husband a card or love note? When is the last time you got butterflies in your stomach when you looked at your man? When is the last time you sat back and thanked God for your husband? When is the last time you made an effort? When is the last time you did something for the sake of your marriage?

I am not a marriage expert. I am just a woman who loves a man and wants to spend my entire life with him and if I think that we are invincible I am fooling myself. So I want to be combating the tricks of the enemy. I want to be making every effort to make our marriage impenetrable. So if that means that I must do some things that I don't necessarily want to, so be it. If that means giving up some of what I want and expect, so be it. If that means changing how I do things, so be it. Our marriage is worth it.

Marriage is a gift. Unwrap it, take it out of the box and enjoy it for all it's worth. If it breaks, or the batteries die, don't just throw it away. Get out the glue and tape, get new batteries and keep on going. 

Father, I ask right now that you would touch marriages all over this nation. I pray that you would raise up wives that would appreciate their husbands, not just in thought but in action. I ask that you would give us the wisdom to know how to love our husbands, show us how to keep our marriages alive and well. I pray for husbands to have eyes for their wives alone. I pray that you would set hearts on fire. I ask that there would be a love revolution in our homes. I pray that we would become selfless in our love for our husbands. I pray that you would restore what the enemy has stolen. I pray that you would open our eyes to see the tactics of our enemy and that you would give us the weapons to combat and defeat him. I thank you that even now you are answering and hearts are being touched by the power of your spirit and marriages are being restored, healed and elevated. I thank you for it in Jesus' name!

Let it Shine

When Jenna was born I noticed something about her eyes that bothered me - one pupil was always bigger than the other. To me it was a glaring signal that something could be wrong, but to others it was only noticed when I pointed it out. After a year of wondering, she finally had her ophthalmologist appointment today and I am happy to say that everything is perfect. I'm not sure if I've ever been to an ophthalmologist office before today, in case you don't know, this is an actual eye dr. who examines the health of the eye, not an optometrist who determines if you need glasses or not. Jenna and I were the youngest patients there by probably at least 30 years (on my end). We were surrounded by people who were at the last portion of their journey on this earth, that time when it seems like everything starts shutting down; your eyesight, your hearing, your body in general. It was my daughter's interaction with everyone that has taken me aback and causes me to pause and reflect. 

I kid you not when I say that Jenna smiled at every person who looked at her and in return hearts were warmed and smiles given. I watched before my very eyes God using my daughter to share His love with others. I've seen Jenna do this everywhere we go. I am continually amazed as people will stop dead in their tracks and even stop and come back to us so that they can talk to Jenna. And Jenna faithfully smiles and giggles and waves. Even when she is tired the light in her eyes flickers and the glow in her cheeks brings such joy to people. There is something very special about my daughter.

I know, I sound like I'm just a bragging mom, and maybe I am, but at the same time, have you met my daughter? When we pick her up from the nursery we get comments like, "Oh, our smiley baby!" and "She is just so smiley." I can only imagine what God has in store for Jenna, she is surely to be used as an instrument of His love and joy, she already is. 

I have a lot to learn from my daughter. The light of Jesus shines so brightly in her tiny little eyes and smile, it is almost blinding. Maybe it's because she was with Jesus not too long ago or maybe it's because she hasn't had her light dimmed by the cruelty of life, whatever it is, it's a beautiful thing to see. I want to be like Jenna. I want to leave a room with people smiling because I was there. I want to help people forget, even for a moment, the struggles they are facing and the pain they are going through. I want to bring joy to the downtrodden and hope to the discouraged.


Jenna can't talk yet, well, not words that are in the English language anyway, she doesn't tell people, "Jesus loves you, He died for you" she just looks them in the eyes and smiles and Jesus does the rest. I pray that Jenna's light never diminishes but only burns brighter as she grows and begins to cultivate a personal relationship with Jesus and if I'm ever going to be an adequate example for her to follow I'd better get my act together because I think she already has me beat on the skill of evangelism!

This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine...  

 

The Long Walk

 OFFENDED

1.	to irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in

2.	to affect (the sense, taste, etc.) disagreeably.

3.	to violate or transgress (a criminal, religious, or moral law).

4.	to hurt or cause pain to.

5.	(in Biblical use) to cause to fall into sinful ways.

It's pretty easy to get offended isn't it? I mean really, how many times a day does someone or something irritate, annoy or anger you? How often does something affect you disagreeably? How often are you hurt? Lots. 

We're told that we shouldn't pick up an offense and we really shouldn't pick up someone else's offense. What exactly does that mean? I think it means that we are going to be hurt. People are going to do things that anger us and that's ok. It's ok to be angry, I mean Jesus got angry. It's ok to feel hurt by something someone has done. But what I think is important is that we learn how to forgive and not judge. And picking up someone else's offense means that it didn't even happen to us, we're just angry by association. 

We like to judge people. We look at someone and think we have them all figured out. We see their actions and think we've got them pegged. But the truth is we don't have a clue. Ok, so the clerk at the grocery store didn't smile at you and seemed annoyed with you, maybe her husband left her and she had to get this job to try and support her 2 kids at home and she's angry and desperate and hurting - can we not extend a little grace? Alright, you got passed up for a raise and promotion that you felt was rightfully yours - do you know what the financial situation is of the company? Do you know the ins and outs of the person who did get the job? Do you really know it all? Do you even know enough to pass the slightest hint of judgment?

We take things so personally. The bank teller huffs at you and you take it as a direct assault on your core being. Does she even know you!? Do you know her? Does it really matter? 

Please, please know that I am speaking to myself more than anything here. God is really working on me to walk in love and it is playing over and over in my spirit to walk in love and in order to do that I am becoming painfully aware of what it means to not walk in love and that awareness is coming as God is replaying many, many moments in my life. I am that person, well, by the grace of God I was that person, the one who got offended easily. The one who judged and held onto grace like it was something you had to earn from me. No, grace is free and we should give it freely - it cost Jesus everything to extend grace to us -and it is God's grace that we give, not our own, so we should be giving it away every chance we get.


I am currently in a situation where some are feeling that they can pass judgment on me and my family for a very difficult decision that we had to make. And I can honestly tell you it is so gut-wrenchingly painful to be judged that way. No one but us and God know what we went through to come to this decision, no one knows the agony and tears. No one. Yet some think they know and they come to their own decision, they decide to pass judgment when they know nothing.

Could you imagine being accused of a crime and you walk into court to begin trial and the judge looks at you and says - "Oh, I've heard all about you - you're guilty, take her away."  That's it - judgment has been passed, because the judge thinks he knows it all. 

How often in life are we like that judge? I have been him way more than I would care to admit or even know. Father, please forgive me. Who am I to think I am even good enough to make a judgment on another? Forgive me. For all the people that I had mere moments with and instead of letting the light of Jesus shine I threw the spotlight of judgment, forgive me! Whether it be celebrities and leadership or family and friends, Father, forgive me for trying to play God and judge. 

God and God alone is worthy to judge. 

I pray, from the side of one being judged, please, extend some grace and let God do the judging. The grace that you would want extended to you, extend to others. Walk in love. 

God help me to do just that - Father, extend grace to me to walk it out to walk in love.

Walking...

Loads of Laundry...

We have 5 people in our family and that equals a LOT of laundry. It seems endless! There is always something waiting to be washed, dried, folded, ironed or put away. Most of the time when I am doing laundry I am thinking about how much I hate laundry, I know, not very productive or helpful, but that's what I'm thinking. Then the other day the Holy Spirit told me that I was His laundry and well, that got my attention.

Excuse me? What did you say? I am your laundry? What in the world does that mean? Elaborate please...

And He did.

So here's the rundown:

Laundry is always in a state of needing attention... so am I.


Laundry is never done... neither am I.


Laundry make look clean and pristine, but then you have a meatball sub and it's in need of cleaning again... I may look like I have it all together, had my prayer time, read my bible, walked in love and then my mood shifts, I sin and need to be cleaned... again.


Laundry may be folded neatly and in the back of the closet seemingly forgotten about then one day I decide that I want to wear that shirt I haven't seen in forever and I pull it out and it needs to be ironed before I can put it on... things that I think I have taken care of, past hurts and failures, regrets, unforgiveness, I can put in the back of my heart and mind, but then one day God's going to pull it out of the closet and I'm going to have to deal with it before I can put on the new garments He has for me.


Laundry can have "hidden" stains, you know what I mean, you wash it, it looks clean, you put it away and next time you take it out to wear it this mysterious stain has appeared... this goes right along with the previous thought, I may think I've dealt with and overcome a certain issue in my life, say, forgiving someone who has hurt me deeply, then I see them somewhere and I find out that, well, nope, I'm still pretty hurt, upset and definitely have NOT completely forgiven them, need to get "washed" again, only this time it's going to take some serious scrubbing.


Laundry really needs fabric softner... I really need the softening grace and love of my Heavenly Father so that I can walk in love and show tenderness and mercy to others.


Laundry is just a bunch of useless clothes without a body in it... I am just a bunch of useless bones and thoughts without the Holy Spirit to fill me up and make me useful.


So, there you have it - I am God's laundry. I am always in need of His attention, His cleansing, His softening, His ironing, His care, it will never end, even when I think it's done I turn the corner and find a dirty pair of socks on the floor... so maybe next time you throw in a load you can thank God for His cleansing and also thank Him that, unlike me, He is never thinking about how much He hates laundry, He actually loves laundry, very much. Reason #6,783 why He is God and I am not.

The Fine Art of Deception

It is no secret that I am extremely bothered by the increasing fascination with vampires. Well, wait, let me rephrase that. I am extremely bothered by the increasing fascination that Christians have with vampires. And anyone who would like to honestly argue this point with me, well, all I ask is that you show me somewhere, anywhere in the bible where you could justify this so called entertainment. Because opinions I am not interested in, issues like this, I'm simply interested in the black and white of God's word. 

This morning I was with a group of women, none of whom I had ever met before. One of the women started talking with great excitement about the new Denzel Washington movie that's coming out. How Denzel seems like such an upstanding Christian. How this movie looks so great, it's all about the final "Holy Bible". Wait, what!? The final Holy Bible? Is not the one sitting next to me the first and final authoritative Word of God? And honestly, that wasn't the first warning that set my spirit on alert. My first "warning" if you will, was that Hollywood was sending out yet another film to try and depict what God has to say, because I'm sure that God is sending Gabriel around to big film producers asking them to please get the word out.



The bible (the real bible) warns of this in 2 Timothy 3 & 4. Chapter 3 verse 13  says that "evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived."I see lots of impostors popping up these days, claiming to have the way to God, the hidden interpretation of the bible, the secrets of Jesus etc.


So that's would be talking the ones doing the deceiving, but what about the ones being deceived? Chapter 4 verse 3, "For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables." If that doesn't sum up what I'm seeing all over the place, I don't know what does. So many Christians are looking to trade in the truth for entertainment, God's Word for fleshly desire. They will twist the Word to suit their wants and make no apologies for it. There's no arguing with them (I was actually warned today to not bring it up). 

This may seem like such a small, insignificant issue in the big picture, but how do you think any deep deception starts? Do you think the enemy is so blatant and stupid to say something so outrageous like, "If you dance like a chicken and bark like a dog while barefoot in the middle of March, 7 angels will appear and tell you who the anti-christ is." Um, no, last time I checked the devil knows the Word inside and out, better than probably 99% of Christians and his specialty is the twisting of the Word to the unsuspecting Christian. He likes to fool us, make us comfortable, think that this little bit of godlessness is ok.

I think the devil is loving this whole vampire business. I mean really - those are his creations and here we are, God's creation, and we can't get enough of them. We think they're such great, harmless stories, our teenage daughters fantasize over which evil creature is hotter, our teenage sons want to emulate their look. Oh yes, the devil is eating this up, God's kids drooling over, spending their money on and fighting with each other over his monstrosities.

Hollywood will continue to try and come up with a better "story", if you will, than God's truth, but they can't and they won't. But the real question is, how many of God's kids are going to get sucked into the lies of the enemy all in the name of entertainment. I urge everyone, before you drop $8 to go see a movie, or tell your kids they can go see a movie, ask God if you should. Is that so hard? Oh, wait, ask and then wait for Him to answer. I don't believe that God is out to keep us from having any fun. But I do believe that He is trying to preserve us. I do believe that He is looking for an army of believers who won't compromise, who do know what He says and aren't ashamed of it. I believe He's looking for mothers and fathers who will tell their children, NO! You cannot read that, you cannot watch that. I believe that He's looking for teenagers who will stand up and say that God has more for them than passing fancies and trendy crushes. I believe that God is searching the earth. When God sees me, when God sees you, does He see a faithful servant or a finicky follower? Well, that's between you and God.

WHY?

Today's reading is Job 10-13. Again, we continue on with the lamenting of Job and the words of his friends. Towards the end Job is simply desperate to ask God why? What did he ever do to deserve this?

Yes, I am quite familiar with the "why's". And I am familiar with it on both sides of the coin. For example:
                Why am I not prospering like Susie Q?
                Why can't things work out for me like they do for Betsy?
                Why did my dad have to die?
                Why didn't you spare me from that bad relationship?
                Why aren't you doing anything to help me?


And then on the other side of the coin (although I am here much less often):
                 Why did you bless me with such an awesome husband? 
                 Why did you bless me with such amazing kids?
                 Why did you die for me?


A lot of questions, not a whole lot of answers. It's easier for me to get the answers for the second group of questions, that's simple... God loves me. As ridiculous as that sounds to me and as undeserving as I may be, He loves me. So what about the first group of questions? It seems  contradictory to say how loving God is and then look at all the "bad" stuff in life and know that He is in control, so what answer do I get for those things?


I honestly don't know. I know that some things are the result of choices that I have made, poor spending habits, poor relationship choices, not listening to God and following His wisdom. And then there are other things that don't fall into the category of my own making. Take for instance my dad dying. I was 17, I did nothing to cause or bring about his death, but it still happened and still affects me to this day. So why? I don't know. But I do know that God has caused even that to work out for my good, I never would have met Brian and wouldn't have my beautiful children or my walk with the Lord had I not walked through losing my dad. 


I remember in March of 2008 I found out I was pregnant, and then soon after finding that out I miscarried. I can so clearly remember sitting in the ER by myself, in a cold, white room alone with my thoughts. Nurses would come in and out of the room and take blood and I went for an ultrasound, all the while deep in my heart I knew this baby was never going to be in my arms. I felt so alone but God spoke to my spirit and over and over reminded me that He would never leave me or forsake me. And I asked God why. Why was this happening? So clearly I heard him say to me that I was not exempt, we as Christians are not exempt. Exempt from what? Exempt from the affects of living in a fallen world. And that was enough for me. And God knew it would be enough. I didn't get any other wonderful words of encouragement or love - just I will never leave you or forsake you, and, you are not exempt. 


Although I am not exempt from the affects of this fallen world, I do have the privilege of never walking through it alone. The maker of the universe is always with me to give me peace, hope and joy through it all. I can't imagine how people make it through difficult times without God to walk with them? The difficulties that I walk through today are tomorrow's victories and God's glory and hope to a lost and dying world. Oh, and as a side note, somehow, miraculously, 2 weeks after miscarrying, I was pregnant again and now my sweet little Jenna is 13 months old. I can't imagine someone else being here instead of her! And I am also looking forward to meeting my child in heaven someday. (I think he's probably hanging out with his gramper until I get there.) :) 


Although we may not get the answers we want right now. We can trust that our God is a loving God and His plans for us are good, He is working all things together for our good and one day, on the other side of eternity, I believe that we will get the answers to the why's, but at that point, I really don't think we'll care.

A Mediator

Today's reading for me is Job 6-9. These 3 chapters are a continuation of the conversation between Job and his friends. Job laments, his friends try to encourage, or something like that. It can get to be a bit much reading all that Job has to say in his time of anguish and honestly can make me feel like there's no hope. Job says things like "29 Whatever happens, I will be found guilty. So what's the use of trying?" and "18 He will not let me catch my breath, but fills me instead with bitter sorrows.". Job goes on and on about how God is going to do what He wants to do and basically there is no hope for anyone, innocent or guilty everyone's the same, hopeless. And I was agreeing with Job, really, who can argue with God? He's God, He can do what He wants, when He wants and who are we to question? But then Job says something that took my breath away.

"32 "God is not a mortal like me, so I cannot argue with him or take him to trial.

33 If only there were a mediator who could bring us together, but there is none"

If only there were a mediator. 
If only there were a mediator.
If only there were a mediator.

How hopeless it seemed for Job. He was unable to access God personally because The Mediator had not come... yet. 

"35 Then I could speak to him without fear, but I cannot do that in my own strength." 

All mankind was separated from God the Father in the Old Testament, without a mediator none, but the priests could enter the Holy of Holies and speak with God. Fast forward to the New Testament, Jesus, God as a man, came to earth and He became our mediator.

1 Timothy 2:5 says,  "For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus."


We now can enter boldly into the throne room of grace and speak directly with our heavenly Father, our Creator, our King, because of our Mediator, Jesus, who made a way for us. We don't have to be like Job who was crying out for a Mediator, He has already come and is available to us 24/7. There's no waiting. There's no religious rituals. There's just accepting Him as our Mediator, accepting what Jesus did on the cross to become our Mediator. And then we're in! We can enter BOLDLY!!! Hallelujah!


I wouldn't want to have gone through what Job went through, no way, not in a million years. But I wonder what it would have been like for Job had this happened post-Jesus. Would Job have felt a little differently knowing that He could stand before God and pour out his heart to Him without fear? Would he have felt less hopeless? Maybe.

Whatever I face I know that I can go talk to my Father and He doesn't tell me to change my clothes or use fancy words, He simply tells me to come. Come and He'll give me rest, come and He'll trade in my sin for righteousness, come and He'll give me hope and a future. 


I am so grateful for Jesus, for so many reasons. Today I am grateful that He is my Mediator, always covering me with His righteousness so that I can enter the throne room of grace. Thank you Father that you wanted to have a relationship with me, a personal one, so you sent your Son so that we could. And thank you Jesus for being willing to go and endure the cross so that I don't have to be separated from God. 

Job said "if only there were a Mediator", God says, "If only people would accept Him."

12-1/2 months

Genesis 8-11 finishes out Noah's little cruise. I found it interesting that in the NLT version we're told that Noah was on the ark for 12-1/2 months - say what!? All we ever hear is that it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, not 376 days and 376 nights!!! YIKES! Can you imagine!? A whole year stuck on this boat, not going outside, no other humans but the 8 of you and a bunch of big, nasty, smelly, not to mention scary, animals! And we think that a rough patch that lasts a couple of months is bad! Then people have the nerve to judge poor old Noah when he gets drunk, there weren't counselors back in those days, not to mention, even if there were they would have all been killed in the flood.

I can't imagine the trauma this family endured in their minds, emotions, spirits and physical bodies. No one left. Not a single person on the planet. Sounds like a Will Smith movie. Then, your told by the same God who basically wiped out the human race, go repopulate the earth. Excuse me, do what? Seems like quite the task if you ask me. But God had faith. He had faith in Noah and his family that they would do what was needed. And God had faith in the human race, that we wouldn't be a mistake, He wouldn't regret us, we were worth the chance.

Do you see that? God didn't have to repopulate the earth. He didn't have to spare Noah, but He did. Why? Because the human race had such a great track record? Because He gets so much back for His investment? No. I believe He allowed humans to continue as a species because He not only loves us, but He likes us.

Have you ever noticed that there are very few families that have only 1 child? Even with all the trouble the 1st baby you have gives you, all the money he costs you, all the energy, tears and frustration, most people choose to do it again, and again. We are made in the image of God, the inherent understanding of right and wrong in our hearts is because of Him, and I believe that the absolute, unexplainable love that parents have for their children is also there because of Him, because it's how He is.

God didn't throw out the whole human race because He loves us. Could He maybe have skipped Calvary if the earth was void of people? I don't know, that's probably some big theological debate that I don't have the schooling for, but I do know that He knew how the original humans treated Him, He knew Calvary was on the agenda and He still chose to do it all again. He chose to make me, He chose to make you, no mistake about it. He could have wiped everyone out at the flood, but He didn't, He looked thousands of years into the future and He saw the year 2010 and He saw us, each one of us, and He loved us and didn't want a world without us.

Whales

I woke up this morning after some pretty crazy dreams - I'm talking blue whales up close crazy. One dream interpretation that I read said that I might be dealing with things that were overwhelming me. Do you ever try to go through your dream after you had it? Well, that's what I was doing which led to me NOT being able to go back to sleep. My thoughts turned to me, myself and I and what the heck am I doing here? We're partway into January, the month of new beginnings and what have I done? Not much, things are the same and I haven't really done anything to alter the course of the sameness of my life. I hate new year's resolutions, I always fail miserably at them. But I do really like the thought of changing things - it's the work I hate. I read in a magazine last month that you shouldn't make long term goals like a new year's resolution lays before you, a year is a long time to try and stick with something. But instead you should try and set smaller goals, say, a three month goal and after 3 months do it again so on and so forth.


So, what areas in my life need improvement or change? What are the overwhelming "whales" if you will,  that are plaguing me in the conscience realm?  Can we say just about all of them? There's always room for improvement, right? I began to think about what areas I would compartmentalize my life and I came up with 4: spiritual, physical, emotional and financial. Perhaps I should come up with a goal for each of those areas and attack my personal change that way. Seems doable. So here we go.


SPIRITUAL: I've already begun attacking this goal and this one will last all year - it's to read the bible through this year and to also elaborate my thoughts on the blog while I read.  For the short term spiritual goal I would like to attend a small group study and begin building strong relationships with other women who love the Lord and can help me with my walk and maybe I can help them as well... my first meeting is this coming Wednesday.


PHYSICAL: ((Sigh)) So much work to be done here, it's overwhelming. So where can I start? Where should I start? Where's a place to start that will make a difference that will encourage me to continue? Everyone has an opinion as to the best way to lose weight and get healthy and everyone's opinion always sounds so great to me, in theory, but in reality, it overwhelms me and makes me not want to even try. Here's what I'm going to do... I am going to stop eating so late at night - I never have ice cream at noon, it's always at 9:30 at night - so for the next 3 months I am going to set the goal of not eating past 8pm. This could be difficult for me! We go to church on Saturday nights and we don't get home until almost 8 - ((gulp)). The other step I'm going to take for my physical goal is to exercise at least 3x's a week. We got a Wii Fit for Christmas and I am wondering if this thing really works or just a lot of hype - so I will use Wii Fit at least 3x's a week a minimum of 30 minutes and we'll see where that gets us. 


EMOTIONAL: Ok, I will admit it, I am a negative and critical person a lot of the time. Why I'm that way I have no idea. I think I read somewhere that it has to do with not really liking myself, but I'm not sure. As I lay in bed this morning thinking about this whole negative/critical thing I kept wanting to run away from it but it kept tripping me up, I took that as a message from God that He would like me to work on this. My goal is to speak only positive, uplifting things... I might not have much to say the next few months.


FINANCIAL: It may not seem like finances should be included in the compartments of my life, but our finances hang over my head on a daily basis, so I would say that constitutes some major attention. Honestly, we have made some really poor decisions in the past that have all caught up with us and now prevent us from the things we really want in life. My husband doesn't bring home the biggest paycheck in all the land, but it's not the smallest either. It is what the Lord has provided for us which means that it's more than enough, so why do I always feel like it's not? This week church sent out a budget sheet and I am resolved to work on it sometime in the next day or so and for the next 3 months we are going to stick to that budget if it kills me, and it just might! I am a giver by nature, I love to give gifts, make dinner, decorate the house, go do fun things, all of which cost money, but it's time I gave my family and myself an even greater gift, to step towards financial freedom and the life that we want to live, not the life we have to live. 


There it is, in black and white, if I follow these things change should happen. It's only 3 months, I can do this. Read my bible every day and attend a small group. No eating after 8 pm and exercising at least 3x's a week for 30 minutes. Speaking positive, uplifting words. And sticking to a budget. How long am I doing this for again? God help me, please. 


What are your overwhelming whales? Do you have goals that you've set to capture these whales once and for all? Do you have a system of accountability set up? What is your motivation? If you started on January 1st, it's not the 9th, how are you doing?


I'd love to hear thoughts and encouragement, tips and lessons learned.


Chasing my whales and staying positive in the journey!

Consistency

Day #2 of reading led me to two different points that I wanted to share, the first point you can read in the post titled "Watch Out". The reading for the day was Genesis 4-7. This portion of scripture re-counts Adam and Eve's family and the story of Noah. 

We all love the story of Noah don't we? We decorate babies rooms with the ark and the animals, we have toys with the ark and the animals, we love rainbows and some even name their sons Noah. We are fascinated with the story. It's a story of God's love, His promises, His mercy and grace. It's also a story of God's nature and how He feels about sin. In case you missed it, He HATES sin! Hates it so much that He regretted making the earth because of the sin in it and ultimately decides to kill everything in the earth because of it. But this wasn't a hasty decision, not at all.

5 Now the LORD observed the extent of the people's wickedness, and he saw that all their thoughts were consistently and totally evil.

So you see, humans weren't just sinning once in a while. They weren't just having a bad day and having a breakdown. No, they were consistently evil. Definition of consistent: constantly adhering to the same principles, course, form etc. So their very principles were evil, the course they took in their daily life was evil, the way they did things, their form, was evil. So God decides He's had enough with them, basically there was no hope for them, so get ready, it's gonna rain.

Then there's Noah. Good old Noah. What made Noah so special? Was he perfect? Did he always pay his tithe, go to church every Sunday and teach Sunday school? Maybe, but what made Noah stand out to God? What made God say, now Noah, I like him, I think out of all the people on the earth, I'll let him live? The bible tells us what made Noah so special to God.

v9 - He consistently followed God's will and enjoyed a close relationship with him. 

So on the one hand we have all the people of the earth who are consistently evil, then there's Noah who is consistently following God's will and consistently in relationship with Him. There's no, "I wanna pray" one day and "I don't feel like it" the next. No, "I know that God said I should do this or shouldn't do that but I really want to do things my way". Nope, not Noah. Noah was consistent. Does that mean that he never screwed up? Never made a bad choice? Never sinned? Of course not, he was human after all. But Noah's heart was set to please God. Noah's principles were based on what God said, not on what Noah felt. Noah invested his time and energy in having a relationship with God and God enjoyed His relationship with Noah and decided to spare him and his family as a result.

We're all consistent, the question is what are we consistent with? Are we consistently negative or consistently positive? Are we consistently gossiping or consistently building others up?  Are we consistent tithers or consistently withholding? Are we consistently spending time with the Lord praying and reading our bibles or are we consistently making excuses? 

If I were in Noah's day and Noah wasn't there, would God have been able to spare the earth because of my consistency? Or would I have been counted among those that God was sorry He ever made? That's harsh, I know, but I'm asking myself that question, you can choose to ask yourself if you want. 

I hope that in the asking I will find myself striving toward the goal of being consistent in my walk with the Lord. I may never make the mark of sparing the earth based on my relationship with Jesus, but I sure as heck am gonna try.

Watch Out!

Day #2 of bible reading - today's reading Genesis 4-7. This is the part of the bible where we learn about Cain and Abel, the rest of Adam and Eve's family and finishing out with Noah. A couple of things stood out to me as I was reading, I'll start with our buddy Cain.

So here's the setup: Cain and Abel both just brought offerings to the Lord. Cain, being a farmer brought produce and Abel, being a shepherd, brought "several choice lambs from the best of his flock." God wasn't buying Cain's offering, but was well pleased with Abel's. This really upset Cain, I mean downright ticked him off. When I imagine (emphasis on imagine) Cain and Abel, I see that Cain is working the land, that's hard work, while Abel is tending to sheep, ok hard in it's own right, but really what "work" was there? So I think that may have led Cain to already be jealous of his brother and the life he was leading. And who knows how things were at home, were Adam and Eve the perfect parents? Don't think so. So, maybe Abel got the better bedroom and got to stay up later and got to go to the local hangout because he got his work done while the work of a farmer is never done. Who knows, but it's clear to me that there was history between Cain and Abel and this was not the first time that Cain was feeling mistreated.

The bible says he felt dejected. Have you ever felt dejected? It's a horrible feeling. The definition is: depressed in spirits; disheartened; low-spirits. I can relate to that feeling and the unclear and ungodly thoughts that accompany it. Cain blamed feeling this way on his brother. 

So, here's what jumped out at me. It begins in Genesis 4:6-7. This is where God reaches out to Cain, recognizing Cain is clearly upset, God asks Cain why. Then God tried to help Cain, God actually flat out gives Cain the answer to the test, let's read it. 

6 "Why are you so angry?" the LORD asked him. "Why do you look so dejected?

7 You will be accepted if you respond in the right way. But if you refuse to respond correctly, then watch out! Sin is waiting to attack and destroy you, and you must subdue it." 

 

I have never noticed this before - God asks Cain a question and before Cain answers God tells him - "Look, if you think before you speak and respond in the right way I will accept you just as I accepted your brother. However, if you choose to respond in the wrong way - well, you don't wanna know what's going to happen!"

 

God warned Cain, that is love. God offered the same reward to Cain that was given to Abel, that is grace. We don't read an audible response from Cain, instead we read about the action which was his response loud and clear. In the next verses Cain takes Abel out to the fields and he kills his brother. This was a thought out, planned action. It was not a heat of the moment decision. The warning is the same for us...

 

thinking about sending a flirty text to your co-worker? Watch out!

considering watching that movie that's all the latest rage? Watch out!

pondering lying to your boss? Watch out!

 

Watch out! Sin is waiting to attack and destroy you! So, watch out!!!!!!! 

(I will share my other thought from the passage in a separate post)

The Bible in a Year

Today is January 7, 2010 and I'm just getting around to trying to set some goals for the new year... not off to a very good start am I? I got an e-mail this afternoon that prompted the goal of reading through the bible in a year. I think that's always a goal in some way or another, reading my bible that is. Whether it's to read it through in it's entirety or just read some every day. It's something I know I need to do, it is imperative to my walk with the Lord, I mean it is His personal letter of love, encouragement and instruction to us, do we need any other reason to read it? So what interested me with this e-mail is that I can read it online and choose the type of reading that I want to do. I have chosen to read the bible in chronological order. It's something that has always interested me and I've even considered purchasing a bible that is in chronological order, but I must say, this is much more cost effective! So, although a week into the year, I'm starting... here we go.

Today's reading was Genesis 1-3. This passage I'm sure I've read a hundred times. All about how God created the world and how Adam and Eve screwed it up for all of us. What struck me today as I read was this: the third chapter of Genesis begins with the serpent chatting with Eve. He asks her a question and she responds well, at least I thought it was well, here, let me paraphrase.

           "Eve, are you serious? God won't let you eat the fruit here? I mean, how ridiculous is that? Doesn't He trust you?"

           "No silly, we can eat the fruit.We just can't eat the fruit off of that tree or we'll die." Eve so innocently replies. Then the serpent causes Eve to do something she's never done before, he causes her to question God and His love for her.

            "You'll die!?" The serpent retorts. "Seriously!? You don't believe that do you? God just doesn't want you to have all the good stuff, He's keeping things from you, you won't die. But if you don't eat it, you will most certainly miss out."

And just like that, Eve questions all she's ever known and with a brief conversation with a stranger, she becomes convinced that God was lying to her. Now, I don't know how long Eve had been living in the garden when this encounter took place, maybe a few days, a few years, a few decades, who knows. But I do know that no matter how long she was there, she had intimate fellowship with God. She didn't have to read her bible to hear His voice, or try and forget about the cares of the day. She didn't have to go to church to learn about His character, she didn't have to do anything, He was there with her. And she doubted Him. She questioned Him and His plan for her. She didn't believe.

I feel a bit like Eve lately. I've been going through a really tough time. We moved from FL to MI 3 months ago and it has been anything but easy. I really thought we were turning a corner in our lives but it seems like we've only run into bigger problems. And I can hear the serpent asking me, "Really? Are you serious? This is God's plan for you? Why should you bother serving Him anymore? Why should you tithe? You're no better off when you do." And I ponder those thoughts, I think on them, I let them penetrate my heart and I am distraught, frustrated, angry and fearful. My faith is waning and my courage to take another step is fading fast. I honestly feel as though every decision I make ends in disaster and regret. Is this the right path? Or am I doing something wrong?

So, if Eve who walked with God and had no need of faith could doubt Him and not believe Him, what hope is there for me?

The way I see it, I guess right now I have 2 choices.

      Choice 1: Believe that God is not for me, He's messing with me for fun and every decision I make is leading to disaster. So I should stop tithing, stop serving and start living for myself because it's not worth it.

      Choice 2: The liar is Satan, not God. Believe God, have faith and take another step forward.

Are there any other options?

Believe God or believe Satan. 

When I put it that way, the answer looks pretty darn obvious to me. So I choose to believe God and I am going to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. I am going to keep serving, keep tithing, keep believing. I am going to strive to know Him more and more intimately. I am going to do my best to glorify Him through all of this garbage and trust that He is here with me, I'm not alone, I'm never alone. He never has and never will leave me.

Yes, that's what I choose.